Morning Corps Training To Begin Including Showtunes
Certain Corps regiments are incorporating intricate song and dance routines into their morning workouts in an attempt to entertain ticket pullers, reports say. For years, students camped out in front of Kyle Field have had a front row seat to the mediocre-est show on earth, the morning Corps training regimens. This physical training often incorporates spirited marches, rhythmic chants and push-up sessions motivated by the friendly encouragement of upperclassmen. This year’s changes were announced by Corps Leadership in order to further buoy the spirits of their fellow Aggies.
From modern hits like “In The Heights” to classics like “Rent,” cadets are flexing both their muscles and their vocal cords every Monday morning to entertain campers while they patiently await their tickets.
“My favorite was the cadets’ rendition of ‘You’ll be Back’ from Hamilton, which they performed with surprising vigor at last week’s ticket pull,” history senior Randall Kaufmann said. “I honestly felt the betrayal of America’s revolution from Great Britain’s perspective, even though the cadets singing it are specifically trained to fight for America’s freedom. It was both confusing and inspiring.”
“One minute I’m trying to fall asleep on cold concrete, and the next I’m fighting off Rumpleteazer who’s purring way too close for comfort,” Finance junior Carrol Green said.
The dedication of the Corps trainees is evident in the way they prepare for these Monday performances, with many coming in full hair and makeup and some even donning costumes. Texas A&M’s Department of Performance and Visual Studies has already taken notice, with scouts spotted at the latest ticket pull.
“We were honestly a little blown away by these new Corps exercises,” Sir Roland Raleigh, departmental acting scout, said. “Their vocal projection is top notch, and they have far more endurance than the average theater student. I’m confident we’ll find the next Adam Driver in the ranks of these young Aggies.”
If you are interested in both serving your country and perfecting the high notes of “Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin,’” you are invited to reach out to Interim Corps Commandant Chip Utterback.
– Graddlesnake
Before Zachry’s glow up. Before we joined the SEC. Even before Reveille became Queen of Aggieland, there was a time at Texas A&M few remember. Those who do will only speak of it in the faintest whisper. College Station was still a lawless land. It was a time of heroes and villains, and no legend was more notorious than that of the Graddlesnake. He’s said to have forged his Aggie Ring from scratch and has the quickest Ring Dunk this side of the Mississippi. Some believe he actually planted the Century Tree. Even we thought he was just a myth until he walked into our headquarters with an application.