Thursday, September 19, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Letter To The Editor: Power Is Back! — Or Is It?

By Rev's Rave Yard , in Campus Life Sports Student Issues , at September 7, 2024 Tags: , ,

POWER IS BACK! Last weekend, the iconic Ayyy uh! from Kanye’s “Power” blasted through Kyle Field, and for a brief, shining moment, Aggie fans thought they were about to witness greatness. The team stormed out, ready to take over the world, fists pumping, crowd roaring. 

Kanye practically handed them a winning season on a silver platter. Then the whistle blew, and it was like the Aggies misheard the lyrics as “Ayyy … whoops.” The moment the game started, things fell apart faster than Kanye’s Twitter reputation. 

“We are trippin’ in finesse,” thought the Aggies as they strutted onto the field with the energy of 10 Kanyes, but little did they know, they were walking into a performance about as coordinated as Kanye’s 2020 presidential campaign.

“No one man should have all that power,” Kanye declared, and Texas A&M apparently decided to make it a team-wide philosophy — nobody on the field had a drop of power. The offense looked like they were starring in their own existential drama, watching the clock tick down as Kanye’s “The clock’s tickin’, I just count the hours” played in their heads. Maybe they thought they were in a time trial, who knows?

Meanwhile, the defense was busy living out “Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it,” providing the opposing team with end zones as if they were handing out free samples. Kanye’s “I’m killin’ this sh*t” rang out once more, and the only thing getting killed was the vibe. 

Fans are sweating bullets about the rest of the season now. If this is their big “Power” moment, what’s next? 

—Rev’s Rave Yard