Ranking Every Bonfire Crew
After seasons and seasons of carefully infiltrating Student Bonfire — lurking unseen in each crews’ woods during cut and sneaking around to each perimeter fire during stack— The Mugdown’s secret investigators have finally uncovered the only comprehensive and correct crew ranking.
So, without further ado, every Bonfire crew ranked from best to worst:
- Hullabaloo (no drama from this crew!)
- Neeley
- Lechner
- Schuhmacher
- Krueger
- FHK
- Appelt
- Walton
- Leggett
- Corps
- OC
- Hart
- UL
- Cookie Shack
If you have any concerns or complaints about these rankings, consider getting good.
— Batt-atouille
The Battalion has a rat infestation, and one of these filthy rodents found its way onto our staff. We discovered him deep in the sewers under Sbisa after a long shift of hiding under the head chef’s hat. Now, he loves writing for us just as much as he loves pulling hair. When he’s not busy in the dining hall kitchen or writing articles for the other “publication” on campus, he cooks up articles for us. We’re happy to have him on our team, even though he leaves a copious amount of health code violations in his trail.