Monday, December 23, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Ranking Panhellenic Sororities from Worst to Best

By Lavender Hazed , in Campus Life Greek Life , at January 26, 2024

  1. Kappa Alpha Theta

Make sure to schedule your CAPS appointment after spending time with one of these KATty frenemies!

  1. Delta Gamma

If your only plan for the future is to become a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader and marry your boyfriend from that year you were a summer camp counselor, then this is the place for you!

  1. Alpha Epsilon Phi

Perhaps starting recruitment at the high school level would help your numbers?

  1. Pi Beta Phi

The girls that will party like it’s syllabus week until finals but still go to church on Sunday mornings.

  1. Alpha Chi Omega

It’s honestly surprising this one hasn’t been kicked off campus yet. Whether it’s dirty rushing, hazing, or anything else in between, Ms. Alpha Chi O sure knows how to make you wanna go… literally, like leave.

  1. Delta Zeta

This one may as well be a fraternity with how similar their Thursday through Sunday plans are.

  1. Alpha Omicron Pi

When a video about sex positions comes up instead of your sisterhood video during recruitment, you don’t need me to make fun of you – you did it for me.

  1. Tri Delta

I appreciate the adventurous fashion pioneers who got babylights instead of the sorority standard highlights, it’s made it a little easier to tell people apart. It’s still pretty difficult though, maybe try nametags?

  1. Kappa Kappa Gamma

How’s that alcohol probation going?

  1. Alpha Delta Pi

Such a forgettable sorority they managed to make the top 5!

  1. Zeta Tau Alpha

An entire sorority where personalities are based around putting the letter Z in front of every word? So quirky.

  1. Gamma Phi Beta

While they may not know how to keep girls from dropping, they certainly know how to make a killer grilled cheese.

  1. Chi Omega

These girls are a real hoot. No seriously, they never stop talking!

  1. Kappa Delta

Girl scouts — enough said.

— Lavender Hazed