Habitually Late Student Blames A&M’s Poor Infrastructure for Their Tardiness

Nick Jacobs, a Visualization major and frequently tardy individual, often finds himself blaming College Station’s poor infrastructure for running a few minutes late, a phenomenon actually caused by browsing Instagram Reels instead of going to where he is supposed to be at that time.

“It’s pretty great how I’m able to cycle between blaming the train, the bus schedule, my parking lot across campus, or just College Station’s generally poor road infrastructure for my lateness,” Jacobs said. “Whenever I’m running late to a class or meeting, which is almost every day, I just choose whichever excuse I’m feeling at that time and go from there.”

These excuses are very effective when initially used, but as they are repeated they often become subject to more scrutiny.

“You can get by with the ‘far away lot’ or ‘traffic’ excuse once or twice, but then people start blaming you for not planning ahead and leaving earlier. That type of reputational damage just can’t happen,” Jacobs said. “At that point, you need to shift to the more nebulous train or bus excuse that is more out of your control.”

In a world that emphasizes the importance of respecting the time of others by being punctual, Jacobs views himself as a pioneer fighting against this status quo, emphasizing the importance of selfishly prioritizing oneself.

“I’m a firm believer that no one’s time is more valuable than mine, even if I’m just sleeping in a few extra minutes or sitting on my phone in the parking lot,” Jacobs said. “It’s heartening that College Station is so supportive of this lifestyle.”

— Batt for Both Teams