Texas A&M Named Most All-American School for Also Having President Impeached
Following the impeachment of Student Body President Hudson Kraus, Texas A&M has been named the “Most All-American” school by the national selection committee. The committee cited similarities between the schoolwide presidential impeachment and the federal presidential impeachment in 2021 as supporting factors to merit this award.
In an official statement, interim President Mark A. Welsh III expressed pride in this achievement on behalf of his administration and former students around the United States.
“I know patriotism is very important to the people at Texas A&M,” Welsh said. “And there is nothing more patriotic than kicking our elected officials out of office.”
Backlash followed this contentious award, prompting Vice President of Student Affairs General Joe Ramirez to also make a statement.
“We pride ourselves as a university that not only prepares the next generation for the workforce and to make a difference in the world, but also to be patriots who want their life to imitate the inner workings of the American government as much as possible,” Ramirez said. “I hope every Aggie can go forward knowing they’re representing America in its most pure form whenever they are fired for their incompetence.”
The plaque for this award will be displayed in the Memorial Student Center Flag Room for a month until it is relocated to its final resting spot in the Duncan dining hall.
— Boot Macer
For any cadets that may be reading this, you surely are already wary of typical boot chasers that prey on you for first deck tickets. Boot Macer, however, is a much more significant threat. She hides in the bushes, waiting for a zip lost in thought before she strikes, blinding them with her pepper spray and taking their boots. Nobody knows what she looks like since she strikes so fast, nor why she feels it’s necessary to rebel against the Corps in this way. Boot Macer’s hobby has been great for us, however, as we’ve enjoyed having access to a closet full of boots of many different sizes. We try to not ask too many questions, lest we become Boot Macer’s next target.