Procrastinating Student Resorts to Anxiety Diagnosis for Extra Test Time
Junior biology major Sebastian Croner’s discovery of extra test time for students with anxiety has led him to believe that his recently self-diagnosed test anxiety is what has been holding him back academically all this time.
“I’m a pretty responsible guy in my opinion. I mean sure, I haven’t been to my classes in seven weeks, but that just shows that I have a good work-life balance,” Croner said.
Croner is currently struggling to learn two months’ worth of organic chemistry in the two days before his final exam. After defending his average of 47.32% in the class with allegations related to the chemistry department’s unfair and harsh protocol of free response exams instead of multiple choice questions, Croner admitted that he was never able to complete any of his midterms. However, he said that this was not due to lack of knowledge, but rather, lack of time.
“I actually found out yesterday that apparently a bunch of students at A&M have this thing called test anxiety, and they get extra time on their exams because of their disability. I can totally have that. It’s probably why I keep failing all my exams,” Croner said as he made an appointment to get an official diagnosis before his finals. “I am not gonna let my anxiety control me or my grades.”
—BIMS and Snap
One day after a particularly rough organic chemistry lab, BIMS and Snap needed a pick-me-up. After haphazardly driving her black, convertible Porsche down Texas Avenue, she screeched into the parking lot of the vet school, certain that a new sweatshirt from the College of Veterinary Medicine and Biomedical Sciences store would do the trick. As she was walking into VIDI, she saw an absolute hunk of a third-year vet student in a form-fitting white lab coat. Unsure of what to do, BIMS and Snap threw her lab goggles to the ground, dropped to grab them, and quickly snapped back up, hoping to get the vet student’s attention. Since the world is not like “Legally Blonde,” the vet student called CAPS, who recommended that BIMS and Snap channel her need for attention into something a little more productive, like satirical journalism.