Skipping Class No Longer Flex, Now Kind of a Problem
Following his decision to remain in MATH 251 class after the Q-Drop deadline yesterday, sophomore electrical engineering major Victor Carlisle realized that skipping lectures all semester was directly responsible for his current state of stress. As recently as spring break, Carlisle was heard boasting about passing the first MATH 251 exam despite having missed each lecture since syllabus week.
“I thought I had this class in the bag after getting that 79 on the first test and Chegging my way through each homework,” Carlisle said. “Now, I’m really wishing I had gotten all those attendance points because I didn’t do so great on the second test.”
Sources within Section 501 of MATH 251 have confirmed that attendance points count for 10 percent of the total course grade, each exam is worth 25 percent, and Carlisle scored a 45 on exam 2. “Assuming his homework average is 100, Victor needs a 96 on exam 3 to pass the class,” calculus tutor Jason Torres, who saw Carlisle for the first time yesterday, said. “If he had gone to every class, he would only need to score 56 percent.”
Despite the high final exam score necessary to receive a C, Carlisle elected not to Q-Drop because “passing is technically not impossible” and because he already used five withdrawals on KINE 199 classes within his first three semesters.
—MSC ALITTLE
You’ve seen him, the phantom of the Memorial Student Center, lurking in the back of the lunch crowd. Perhaps you caught a glimpse of him darting in and out of various conference rooms. MSC ALITTLE is the CEO of overcommitment, and a sucker for any organization with a pithy acronym. His motives are a mystery. Clout chasing? Resume building? Maybe he just really likes the food at Rev’s. Whatever the case, we count ourselves lucky to be swept away to his lair in the basement, to be tutored in time management and seizing the day.