Breaking: We Totally Should’ve Won Obannon’s Trivia Last Night

Last night at O’Bannon’s, members of The Mugdown were disqualified from trivia despite having the highest score because another team graded their answers incorrectly. Following the incident, security analysts warned that a global conspiracy was likely at play and cautioned the international community against treating the attack as a simple hijinks or rule dispute.

“This is really your run-of-the-mill frame-up,” CIA Director William Burns said. “It’s the textbook approach to destroying the credibility and momentum of a budding organization threatening the status quo.” Burns went on to clarify that, while the CIA was not responsible for the hit job on The Mugdown, the syndicate responsible for the subterfuge has “shown its hand as a well-connected and vile coterie with unlimited resources“ that poses an “existential threat to human rights.”

Geopolitical experts agree that this is not simply The Mugdown being petty about losing trivia on a technicality, but a targeted offensive against everything America stands for: freedom, liberty, justice, freedom, and liberty. Despite this attack on free speech, The Mugdown has not suspended operation and will not bend its knee to these nefarious individuals.

When speaking on the conspiracy, The Mugdown Editor-in-Chief Hannibal Lechner took time to congratulate the winning team. “Firstly, I want to say that Team Menace to Sobriety had an outstanding performance last night and came just two points shy of our corrected total top score. Additionally, our analysts confirmed that the team had no involvement with the shadowy international cabal seeking to eliminate all sources of humor on Earth,” Lechner said. “This tragic incident serves as a reminder that even the most sacred establishments can be infiltrated by despicable syndicates looking to undermine the foundations of our civilization.”

 

— Mugdown Staff