Breaking: Workers Fix Plumbing on the Quad… Again

Today on the Quad, you may feel something steamy brewing. No, it is not the moist Texas weather, but instead the constant stream of water across your shoes coming from the mysterious manholes around the Quad. 

Construction workers have returned time and time again to the very same spots they worked on previously, and The Mugdown got an exclusive interview with two of these workers on their break. 

Luigi Plum and his shift partner, Mario Plum, acknowledged the discontent many have with the constant construction around the Quad. 

“I understand how annoying it must be for the seniors with their nice leathery boots to navigate the mess,” Mario said. “We just advise the Squadrons to limit their showers from five times a day to one, and the Army outfits to plan their monthly shower accordingly.”

“I’m honestly exhausted from breaking down the same concrete path years in a row. If I hear one more cadet tell their buddy they shower while listening to Rooster by Alice in Chains, I’ll go crazy,” Luigi Plum said. 

Many cadets have grown used to the ever-present leaking water, though. One fish was reported avoiding a particularly huge puddle before being pushed into it by an upperclassman. An upperclassman reported laughing after pushing a fish into a large puddle. 

Despite construction across the Quad, students and cadets should expect to see more suspiciously brown water for the next few weeks. Students have been advised to hike up their jeans and avoid Quadbucks while pissheads push more fish into the puddles. 

 

— Boot Licker