Texas Coach Sarkisian Gets Word of Elko’s Losing Streak, Asks, “Who’s That?”

After a poor start to the season from the Texas A&M University football team, many fans have been left questioning how the rest of the season could possibly play out. Morale has continued to fall with each loss, leaving students wondering how they are supposed to stay optimistic for the four remaining games.

In a last-ditch attempt to save the season, a group of students decided to look for advice from someone who knows a thing or two about winning. The students managed to secure an interview with one of college football’s most recognizable coaches.

 The students started the interview with the following question: 

“Mike Elko has led the Aggies into four big losses this season, losing to Kentucky, LSU, Missouri and Alabama. Even though these were embarrassing losses, some have called them ‘character-building experiences.’ Would you agree?”

“Who’s Mike Elko?” said Steve Sarkisian, head coach of the Texas Longhorns football program.

“The head football coach at Texas A&M, sir.”

A full minute of anticipatory silence followed.

“Ohhh, Texas A&M. The one with the dog?” said Sarkisian.

He was then promptly ushered away by his security detail before the situation could come to blows. The Mugdown was able to contact one of the students for a brief follow-up on the experience.

“I thought I knew what it was like to be in the room with a coach at this level, but I was wrong,” said Becca Ivan, a communications major known for her regular post-game interviews with Elko. “Have you ever looked victory in the eye? I haven’t. Not until today.”

Fortunately, sports editors at The Mugdown believe the Aggies can leverage their underground status to sneak up on and defeat the Longhorns in their head to head game on November 27.

 

— Sister Freud