Elko Appoints Women’s Rugby Team to Replace Select Football Players

After Texas A&M University’s football loss to Louisiana State University this past Saturday, Head Coach Mike Elko has decided to make a severe change to the team roster by integrating Texas A&M Women’s Rugby into the Aggie football team. 

Elko’s decision was reportedly influenced by the stellar performance by Women’s Rugby the same Saturday as the Aggies’ tragic football loss, where they defeated the LSU Tigers in Baton Rouge 43-22. 

“A tackle sport is a tackle sport. These young ladies have demonstrated an ability to get down to the end zone that I haven’t seen from my boys in ages. I say we give ’em a go,” said Elko when asked about the proposed roster changes.

Veteran and ongoing asset to the rugby team, Annemarie Johnston, is rumored to be joining the Aggies’ supporting offense as soon as this Saturday. Kenna Boyd and Sophia Lussier, the MVPs of the recent victory against LSU, are expected to be seen alongside her. 

When asked how they felt about possibly replacing former Heisman candidate Marcel Reed, the women shrugged. 

“Someone’s gotta do it,” said Lussier.

While gameplay and scoring heavily overlap between the two sports, some key differences have come up in conversations surrounding this transition. “Playing in all that gear will for sure be an adjustment. We aren’t really allowed to wear anything more protective than a scrum cap and mouthguard, and I don’t even think our girls are doing that,” said Boyd. 

No strangers to concussions or tackles, these young women may be the spark that reignites Aggie football. However, reactions from football players are mixed, ranging from hopeful enthusiasm to overwhelming fear. 

“I’ve never been so scared of someone so small,” said linebacker Damion Sanford when asked how practices with the women have gone.

“Ultimately, I’m gonna need the guys to be open to this. If they can’t tame the Tigers, I have to sign players who can,” said Elko.

— The Vizzler