Professor Cyber-Bullies Students In Response to Rate My Professors Reviews

As of last night, computer science professor Dr. Ernest Fischer has been fired by Texas A&M University, effective immediately, due to a string of hostile responses to negative Rate My Professors reviews.

“I check Rate My Professors every once in a while to make sure I’m getting the credit I deserve,” said Fischer. “I was shocked to see reviews that said my performance was less than superb.”

Dr. Fischer is the only professor who teaches CSCE 376, a course on intermediate hacking techniques. Over the past four semesters, he has awarded one A, six B’s, 35 C’s, 40 D’s and 63 F’s. His victim students responded in-kind online. 

“This prof is lowkenuinely a fat chud,” said one disgruntled student. “Unc gave me straight 60s and didn’t even attempt to teach.”

Dr. Fischer expressed confusion about several of the responses and allegedly leveraged “advanced computational methods” to bypass the anonymity of the review site and identify the students responsible. 

“I don’t even know what half of these comments are talking about, but they don’t sound good,” said Fischer. “Ascertaining their identities simply required applying concepts from Unit Three. If they had been paying attention, they would understand how I did it.”

Reportedly, Dr. Fischer did not use his discovery of identities ethically.

“I figured something was off if he decided to teach comp sci for a living, but he is seriously disturbed,” said one student. “All I did was call him ‘mid,’ and he called me a ‘f****** little crybaby b****,’ smashed my computer on the floor and then failed me.”

Other victims reported similar sentiments, with one alleging that Fischer strongly implied the student’s “continued existence [was] flexible.” Texas A&M avoided a lawsuit by giving all the victims an A in the class for their trouble and continues to look for a less temperamental computer science replacement.

 

 — Five Nights at Fuegos