The Best Places to Fart on Campus
Just like saying “Howdy” or playing dominoes at the Dixie Chicken, it is a common experience amongst Aggies to let one rip while on campus or in a class. For the betterment of the student body, our intern at The Mugdown farted in nearly every possible place on campus. Here are the best places to fart as chosen by this experienced veteran:
1. Memorial Student Center bus stop, specifically by that food truck in front of the ILCB
There are so many smells percolating in this spot of high traffic during class hours, from the bus gas emissions to the sometimes pleasant, sometimes scary smells from the food truck. This is a prime safe haven for passing gas as you cross the street.
2. The bridge over the pond in Aggie Park
Heard of a scenic piss? Try a scenic fart.
3. Under the Century Tree
No one’s going to be under there with you. We all know you are single. After all, you’re reading an article about where to fart on campus.
4. During your advising appointment, when she tells you that you aren’t graduating this semester
There is no greater moment of revenge than causing your evil advisor’s eyes to water from your rancid toot as she reveals to you that you are missing a core class a week before your graduation.
5. The Evans group study room that has your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend in it
We know you miss your ex. This is a perfect opportunity to remind him of your signature scent, mark your territory and gas chamber his new girlfriend.
— Hullabapoo
After an unfortunate accident during Howdy Week involving Hullabaloo Hall, two pounds of froyo, and a DG hangout gone wrong, Hullabapoo was born. A creature equal parts Aggie spirit and gastrointestinal uncertainty, they once wrote a think piece comparing Silver Taps to a silent disco. They are no longer allowed to submit op-eds without an emotional support editor. Their columns are confusing, philosophical, and often end with the phrase “So who’s the real Reveille, anyway?” A legend. A liability. A laxative of logic.