This is Your Future House Based on Where You Park on Campus
West Campus Garage
Your normal run-of-the-mill southern home for the normal, average student parking in West Campus Garage.
Gene Stallings Garage
Bougie vibes.
Southside Garage
Y’all seem smart over there. I think you could get that bag.
30-minute parking only
Efficiency and cost-effectiveness at its finest with a touch of ghetto.
University Center Garage
For the SGA baddies.
Central Campus Garage
The only person I have seen park here was really pale and in all black.
Paid parking only
Clearly you have money to spend or a risk-taking, thrill-chasing personality not paying for paid parking. Either way, a house on a cliff seems fitting.
Bike/scooter parking
You probably saved a lot of money not paying hundreds to thousands for those parking garages.
Polo Road Garage
You clearly love parking where they can also work out and get a mid smoothie bowl. A giant multi-amenity high rise seems fitting.
Northside Garage
You Northside people, especially you freshmen, love to gab about how Northside is so much nicer than Southside. Well, you might as well stay there indefinitely!
Moped/motorcycle parking
You are concerned with speed and efficiency, making a tiny-home fitting, and you think you are better than the bike and scooter commoners.
Lot 100
I’m sorry. But also, you get it.
Any other random lot
Clearly you like finding your own niche space to park so you will probably enjoy being in the middle of nowhere.
— Hullabapoo
After an unfortunate accident during Howdy Week involving Hullabaloo Hall, two pounds of froyo, and a DG hangout gone wrong, Hullabapoo was born. A creature equal parts Aggie spirit and gastrointestinal uncertainty, they once wrote a think piece comparing Silver Taps to a silent disco. They are no longer allowed to submit op-eds without an emotional support editor. Their columns are confusing, philosophical, and often end with the phrase “So who’s the real Reveille, anyway?” A legend. A liability. A laxative of logic.