Student Unsure How to Tell Parents He Lost Aggie Ring After One Week
Caleb Browerly received his Aggie Ring last week on his very special Aggie Ring Day. His extended family came into town to celebrate the third-generation Aggie’s accomplishment in entering the family’s exclusive club of Aggie Ring owners. Unfortunately, Caleb quickly backslid on sharing his family’s most important similarity when he lost his ring just one week after receiving it.
The disastrous economic implications of this blunder made Caleb more nauseous than chugging a pitcher of beer at his ring dunk. Due to rising gold prices, Caleb’s family spent nearly $3,000 to allow him to join the family tradition. Now, Caleb is unsure how to break the harsh reality of his own stupidity to his parents.
Caleb has forgone studying for finals in order to search for the ring around his apartment and throughout the entirety of Texas A&M University’s campus. He has now accepted that the ring is gone forever but is still terrified of what will happen when his parents find out.
Caleb figures he can stage a robbery or maybe pretend to lose his finger in an accident as an easier way to break the news to his parents.
— Bigger Justice
He didn’t join J-Court for the resume; he joined for the robe and powdered wig. Bigger Justice treats every hearing like it’s a Supreme Court case, despite the fact that he only hears cases about Turtlebox speakers that magically turned into water bottles in front of a student body president banner. He talks exclusively in phrases like “with all due respect” and “this sets a dangerous precedent,” even to his professors. What started as a minor election infraction somehow turns into a full-scale hearing on the moral fabric of Aggieland, complete with phrases like “for the integrity of this institution” and “let the record reflect.” He doesn’t just interpret the rules, he becomes them. The case may be small, but don’t worry…he’ll make it bigger.