This Just In: Someone Just Fell Onto Your Lap Through the Bathroom Stall Crack
We at The Mugdown just got word via a direct message on Instagram that, moments ago, someone fell onto your lap while you were peeing in the Heldenfels first floor women’s bathroom.
At the time of the incident, you were reportedly working on your Aggie Schedule Builder to pass the time (it was your first pee of the day so naturally a long one) when you heard a slip, a subsequent scream, and then appeared a wide-eyed Biol 111 bot sitting on your lap.
Bystanders of the incident conveniently witnessed the entirety of the events clearly through the stall crack on the other side of the door and reported hearing the culprit make a quick quip to try and relieve the tension of the situation.
“Hey, at least you aren’t pooping, right?” said the perpetrator as she quickly climbed off your lap and scurried away like a rat through the same crack in the bathroom stall.
After this article is published, we at The Mugdown will personally reach out to University Mental Health Services to make sure they contact you as no foreseeable alterations will ever be made to fix these stall gaps. Ever.
– Hullabapoo
After an unfortunate accident during Howdy Week involving Hullabaloo Hall, two pounds of froyo, and a DG hangout gone wrong, Hullabapoo was born. A creature equal parts Aggie spirit and gastrointestinal uncertainty, they once wrote a think piece comparing Silver Taps to a silent disco. They are no longer allowed to submit op-eds without an emotional support editor. Their columns are confusing, philosophical, and often end with the phrase “So who’s the real Reveille, anyway?” A legend. A liability. A laxative of logic.