Songfest Participant Still Not Sure Which Charity She is Supporting
With Songfest Day 2 in full swing, member of Tri Delta and active participant Leslie Harper said that she is “super pumped to dance for charity,” though admittedly not being entirely sure which one.
“I think it’s for kids, puppies or community or something,” said Harper, while stretching and simultaneously scrolling through her act’s GroupMe. “But you know it’s really more about the experience. It’s like friendship…just with cardio.”
Harper’s act has spent the past two months perfecting a seven-minute routine to a medley of songs that could be described as vaguely inspirational. Despite countless late-night practices, she insists that the exhaustion is worth it.
“We are doing this for a purpose bigger than ourselves,” said Harper. “And by bigger purpose, I mean bonding with men’s orgs. Oh, and the charity stuff I guess.”
According to Chi Omega, who organizes Songfest, all proceeds go to charities – though most performers plan to learn about said charities during the intermission slideshow.
Still, Harper remains optimistic.
“Songfest is about service through motion,” said Harper. “Even if I don’t totally know what we’re serving.”
— Wolf of Wehner
Since before the FBI had even heard the name Jordan Belfort, the Wolf of Wehner has been active in high-profile business and political operations around the world. The Wolf played a key role in the Watergate scandal, the death of Princess Diana, the ‘08 recession and even estate budgeting for Jeffrey Epstein’s Island. The Wolf of Wehner does not deny their involvement in these scandals but rather openly discusses them to demonstrate their “vast experience and keen business acumen” when applying for summer internships in private equity and investment banking. The Wolf of Wehner, although elusive, can sometimes be spotted selling test answers before Accounting 229 exams, falsifying earnings projections in case competitions or talking loudly on the quiet floors of the West Campus Library. The future of American business is in the hands of this infamous individual whose LinkedIn profile (with 500+ connections) professes that “It is better to be rich than happy. Obviously.”
