‘Send Them Back’ Campaign Sweeps Campus Amid Return of Summer Study Abroad Students
The annual influx of students returning from studying abroad has reached its peak this fall, and locally-educated Aggies are starting to push back. The patronizing reminders of Italy’s authentic espressos, and the random “accidental” Spanish words forced into English sentences, have driven annoyed (and slightly jealous) students to protest these unwelcome study abroad-ers.
In response to the absurdity, the anti-abroad “Send them Back” campaign was created. Hundreds of students are joining the coalition. Early Monday morning, organizers and supporters of the campaign marched around the Academic Plaza with signs reading “If Europe is so Great, Why Not Just Go Back” and “We Don’t Care About Paris.”
The organizers have outlined a relatively seamless procedure to rid the university of globetrotters. The International Class Enforcers, or ICE, will take the names of any student who, upon recently returning from their “enriching” study abroad experience, mentions the country they traveled to without being asked, “accidentally” speaks the language of that country, or won’t stop talking about everything that is better in that country. ICE will then take these students and send them right back to the countries they spent their summers in.
“Every fall, I know what’s coming,” said ICE’s lead organizer, junior Agribusiness major Tammy Johnson. “This summer, my roommate was in Germany for four weeks, and will not stop calling it ‘the Deutschland.’”
The rally consisted of around 400-500 students, but the initiative received backlash.
“Frankly, I’m disturbed,” said junior Education major Bella Dobbs. “This summer was life-changing for me. Eating a chocolate croissant in front of the Eiffel Tower after being mugged at knifepoint was actually a really cathartic experience for me. They will just never get it.” She and her fellow counter protesters held up signs reading “Sorry That You’re Poor” and “The Pasta Is Just Better in Italy.”
“Send them Back” campaign organizers are firm in their mission. They emphasize that they are not anti-study abroad, they’re just “pro-shutting up.”
— Panty Hopping
For Panty Hopping, nothing feels more liberating than a comforting swim in the waters of Rudder Fountain. Her articles are all written after her refreshing wades in the waters of the many ponds on campus, and the mysterious liquid masquerading as water within these ponds renders her unable to recall writing her articles. She asserts she is not liable for anything written within them, and that the blood, sweat and tears of Aggies long gone that she has absorbed through her swims in the mystical ponds are the lifeblood of her writing. Sure, Panty Hopping might be seen applying to every organization on campus or in the Instagram comments of that girl in your Math 140 class three semesters ago. Still, her true passion lies in swimming in the glorious ponds on campus.