Top Ten Assignments to Use the University Writing Center
- Break-Up Texts: Maybe you’ve dated for a week, maybe four years. Either way, the University Writing Center (UWC) can help craft the perfect text that makes it clear that you’re not the bad guy and whatever your boyfriend/girlfriend did is 10 times worse than anything you’ve done.
- Email to Professor to ask for a 50 point bump: I’m looking at you RPTS 324 students. The UWC can even find you the best sad cat GIF to add to the end of the email for a final persuasive plea.
- ChatGPT Prompt: Let’s say you don’t want to get help from a real person but don’t know exactly how ChatGPT works. Not only will the UWC help you come up with prompts, they will also pretend to be a robot, so you don’t have to deal with the labor of talking to someone with real emotions.
- Presentation to convert close friends to Catholicism: Have your attempts to bring them to St. Mary’s proved unfruitful? Come on down, and the UWC will help improve your public speaking abilities and bring the people you love closer to God.
- Foreign Language paper: Don’t worry, they know every language. Even Québécois.
- Floral Arrangement Project: Sure, just bring in a bunch of random flowers. Go ahead, see what they’ll do. I bet they’ll make an absolute masterpiece. And then you’ll take all of the credit and ruin their chances of ever making it in the floral arrangement business.
- Your love letter to Marcel Reed: They are truly masters of love, and surprisingly ball-knowers, at the UWC.
- Resume: When you are a senior with no experience, no previous jobs, no awards, and no special skills, fear not, they will figure something out (make something up) for you.
- Your enemies to lovers, Ol’ Rock x Notre Dame’s Leprechaun explicit fanfiction: I’m sure they’ll love that.
- Article for the Mugdown: Sometimes even we need help too.
—12th Baby
During an A&M home football game, a beautiful baby was born to the most Redass of parents. While the other babies laid in their cribs and slept, this baby stood proudly on top of its bedding. Doctors said it was a scientific enigma: the first known infant born with fully working legs at the time of birth. The baby stood for two hours, refusing to sit or lay down. As the home football game concluded with an Aggie win over TU, the baby laid down and fell asleep. The baby could not stand anymore no matter how hard doctors tried. That was until it was a week later and the Aggies were playing once more at home. The baby stood up again, earning the name as 12th Baby.