SGA Approves ‘Ring by Spring’ Initiative, Allocates Majority of Budget to Engagement Prep
In a bold move to highlight the true spirit of Aggieland, the Texas A&M Student Government Association (SGA) voted this week to allocate the bulk of its annual budget toward “Ring by Spring,” a sweeping initiative designed to ensure every SGA member is not only engaged in student leadership, but also, you know, engaged.
“We’re just following tradition,” said SGA Treasurer Kyle Simmons, pointing at a spreadsheet where
“Student Success Programs” had been replaced with “Surprise Engagement Parties” and “Extremely Large Diamonds.” “Student Government is how everyone meets their future spouse anyways, so we might as well take advantage of our large budget to celebrate all of the hard work we’ve done for this university!”
In accordance with the new budget, funds will now cover:
- $50,000 for a Ring by Spring photo booth featuring Reveille as ring bearer.
- $30,000 for monogrammed towels labeled “His Whoop” and “Her Whoop.”
- A weekend getaway in Fredericksburg, listed in the budget as “Leadership Development,” but widely known as the Future Spouses Wine Tour.
Student Body President Carter Mallory defended the shift. “Parking, tuition, and mental health are basically solved, so this was the obvious next step. Plus, nothing says Aggie Spirit like making sure your proposal photos sparkle as much as your Aggie Ring.”
The remaining $7.32 has been set aside for academics.
MS Pick Me
Yes, you’ve seen her. No, you don’t know her, but she definitely knows you. You can find MS Pick Me strategically positioning herself at the prime table spot in every coffee shop in College Station, rotating between them every 30 minutes to ensure seeing as many of her friends as possible. Yes, she is wearing head to toe Daily Drills and drives a baby blue Ford Bronco, but she is so incredibly humble about it! MS Pick Me is notorious for repeating the phrase “to piggyback off what the Professor said…” and mentioning her next meeting she has to run to when you never asked. She camps out in the MSC not to study, but to be seen studying, preferably within earshot of at least three different org members and one professor she can wave to. If life had participation trophies, MS Pick Me would have all of them.