Performative Male Explains Misogyny to Women and Gender Studies Class
Last Tuesday, performative male Edward Zhou explained the term “misogyny” to his Women and Gender Studies course. Completely unprompted, Zhou walked to the front of the classroom —wearing a Clairo shirt and knee-length jorts— to deliver his statement.
“Misogyny is when women don’t listen to what I say,” said Zhou, while adjusting his tote bag. “Also, it’s when social media labels my kind-hearted compliments about women’s figures as ‘harassment’.”
Several students attempted to interject, with the course’s professor Dr. Rachel Harbaugh jutting in to cite multiple peer-reviewed articles defining misogyny.
“I appreciate your contribution,” said Zhou. “But I have spent the last 20 minutes thinking about this, and I think I have a more firsthand take on the topic.”
Dr. Harbaugh reportedly allowed Zhou to continue.
“I think I saw our professor pull out a flask after Edward hit the 30 minute mark,” said sociology freshman Paige Herrera. “She has two doctorates, so I guess he must have been right if she didn’t correct him.”
The lecture concluded with Zhou receiving scattered applause and dozens of eye rolls. After single-handedly solving the entire world’s gender issues, Zhou returned to his seat to read another piece of feminist literature and sip his matcha.
— Hello Dammit
An expert in Southern hospitality with a rage problem, Hello Dammit greets all with a smile… and a passive-aggressive comment about your parking job. They’ve held 14 student leadership positions, go to trivia every single night of the week, and have weaponized Canva and group chats alike. If you’ve ever been voluntold to work an event you don’t remember signing up for, it was them. Hello Dammit has big former-Yell-Leader energy and will quote the Aggie Honor Code during casual conversation. They’re not mad… just disappointed. Actually, scratch that. They’re mad and disappointed.