Reveille’s Handler Caught Cheating With Answers On Leash
The sky looked darker and greyer over the Quad today as whispers and hushed tones spread from outfit to outfit. Reveille’s handler, Junior Biomedical Sciences major Ashley Quick, was caught cheating on her final exam for Anatomy and Physiology 1, whereby she also incriminated the First Lady of Aggieland, Reveille X.
The scandal occurred this past Thursday at 2:25pm, when Rev’s disappointed state alerted Senior Anatomy and Physiology Professor Charles Ledderman that something was wrong.
“I noticed her staring me down. Nobody wants to be stared down by the Queen, but there was a certain melancholy in her eye as if she were experiencing the pain similar to that of a longing widow. Her pain as it turns out was rooted in the betrayal of her dear handler’s incompetence regarding the Aggie Honor Code,” Ledderman said.
Upon inspection, Ledderman noticed Reveille’s leash had answers hidden within the stitching, in addition to a cheat sheet tucked into the crevices of her paws. Head of the Honor Council Patricia Showman released a statement after the incident concerning Reveille’s culpability.
“An example stated for Complicity in our Honor Code is ‘distributing, posting, or otherwise communicating test questions or substantive information about the test without the instructor’s permission,’” Showman said. “This is exactly what Reveille did, and for that, even the Queen should be held accountable.”
Quick and The Queen, at the mercy of the Honor Council, await their fate. Quick, if guilty, faces an F-star and removal from her role as handler. Reveille, if guilty, faces the cancellation of her biweekly spa treatments for the fall semester.
– Loco-Motive & Hullabapoo
Fueled by pure caffeine and watching reruns of Student Senate debates, Loco-Motive runs on chaos and charisma. Once a calm, rule-following freshman, they accidentally rode the Spirit Bus route in a full loop and emerged… different. Now, Loco-Motive writes exposés at lightning speed, stirring the pot and spilling the tea with zero brakes. You’ll see them sprinting across campus double fisting a Red Bull and Iced Latte on any given day. They’ve been banned from GroupMe six times and somehow turned it into a resume booster. Loco-Motive isn’t just off the rails, they are the rails now.