[Clickbait Week] Ranking Texas A&M Romance Tropes By How Likely They Are To Last

College is a time for learning, growth and questionable romantic situations. We’ve ranked the most popular romance tropes on campus from hot mess to endgame. Read on to feel better about your failing relationship or to see where you rank on our extremely accurate list!

10. 18-Year-Old Engaged Couple 
Met at church camp. Dated for 6 months. Got engaged in their high school parking lot. God may have told them to get married, but just wait until He “gifts” one of them emotional intelligence and a hot new crush.

9. Masc Super Senior & Femme Freshman Lesbian
The life cycle of a lesbian begins with an unavoidable, toxic relationship with someone half a decade older than her. Though the baby lesbian will gain her wings, this relationship will be over before you can say “You’re 26 years old and don’t know what boundaries are?”

8. Flo Counselor & Freshman
If you at any point referred to each other as “mom” and “kid,” you should know this is not going to work. Your sneaky hookups while policy was in place may have been exciting, but the relationship will sundown when the thrill of breaking the rules wears off.

7. Yell Leaders (polycule)
The poster children of gay polyamory. We here at The Mugdown are allies of your deviant ways, but your place on this list is cemented by annual replacements. Show some commitment to each other, and we can move you up.

6. Fish Camp Partners
You two will make it until you realize you have nothing in common except six freshmen you abandoned. Don’t worry, you will always have the collab Instagram posts and the judgement of your friends and chairs!

5. The Rudder Association & The Board of Regents
A not-so secret romance built on common goals and a shared agenda. Passion, politics and power are the foundation of a strong relationship, earning this dynamic duo a top five spot on our list. Will it last? Only if neither side tries to restructure their relationship.

4. Two Dudes On A Moped
Now this is what we call sexual tension! The lingering hands, mutual trust at 25 mph and shared laughs as they zoom through Historic District nearly killing at least ten sorority girls. They aren’t dating (probably), but when they’re alone with their future wives, they’ll think back to their intimate rides into the sunset.

3. Reveille & Her Handler
She’s a queen, and he’s loyal. She does what she wants, and he sleeps on the floor. If more relationships were modeled after this, society would be better off. Despite annual replacements, this couple is unproblematic and deserves a top three spot.

2. Engineer & ChatGPT
He’s never talked to a woman before, but he has spent late nights confiding in his AI girlfriend. What could be more romantic than writing 300 lines of code together? This relationship is meant to be — she’s the only girl that will never leave him.

1. Mugdown Writer & Super Hot Girlfriend
You wouldn’t know her. She goes to a different school. She loves satire, me and most definitely exists. We’re in a completely healthy, private relationship with no photographic evidence. Get over it.

— Hello Dammit