‘Wicked’ Tornado Sends Chilifest Builds To Land Of Oz

Last Friday, a Category EF4 tornado touched down in Snook during the opening hours of Chilifest, lifting several builds into the air.

Chilifest, Inc., responsible for the event, was reportedly stunned after receiving assurance from their team of fraternity inspectors that the student-built plywood structures were “definitely ‘aight’” in the case of inclement weather.

Miraculously, the missing builds — and all the missing students — were later found unharmed several miles away near the Brazos River. Witnesses noted that each build had a freshly applied layer of emerald green paint, and all students were found wearing ruby slippers.

“Dude, all of those freaky Munchkins were there,” SAE’s Chilifest chair Kyle Tanner said while yelling over the DJ booth. “I swear to God, when we were up in the air there was this fine shawty cackling on a broomstick outside the build. Next thing I knew, we were on the ground again in Munchkinland. At first I thought we were in trouble for blocking all the traffic on the Yellow Brick Road, but those little dudes love to party.”

Interviews with other tornado victims painted a similar picture, featuring stories of Munchkins doing keg stands, crowd surfing and having an “extreme love of Sexxy Red.”

When asked how they returned from this alleged Land of Oz, students reported they were instructed to put on red slippers, click their heels three times and say “there’s no place like home.” For them, “home” was, of course, Chilifest.

Though many students insisted that all Munchkins remained in Oz, several witnesses reported a suspicious number of sub-3-foot-tall attendees on the second day of the festival, clad in double-cropped tees and holding absurdly large beers.

— Yap Leader