Aggie Girlfriend Not Impressed With Boyfriend’s Intramural Basketball Performance 

On Thursday night, the Blue Ballers eliminated the LeBroncos from the losers bracket of the spring intramural recreational men’s basketball playoffs in a tight 57-52 bout.

Texas A&M communications junior  Brittney Foster was reportedly less than pleased with her boyfriend’s performance. Brian Mitchell, senior on the team and boyfriend to Foster, was overconfident in skills that had gone unpracticed since he was cut from the JV basketball team in high school. 

According to reports, he believed that he would impress his girlfriend, but instead disgusted Foster with the embarrassment she witnessed on the court.

“They weren’t hustling on defense, zero intensity on the glass and abysmal shooting,” Foster said. “I’ve seen my brother’s 3rd-grade basketball team play with more cohesion than that sorry excuse for a team.”

Mitchell had a career-high 3-20 shooting night, including two missed half-court shots in the second quarter, six turnovers, seven points, one rebound and one assist. 

“I honestly don’t get it,” Mitchell told reporters. “I thought I did alright.”

Bystanders reportedly took quick note of the situation, looking on with a mix of pity and terror. One student even sprained his ankle and hobbled out of the Rec with his girlfriend mere minutes before the start of the next game.It is unclear if Foster and Mitchell will remain in their relationship for long. For the time being, Foster has been banned from attending any future intramural sports competitions after verbally accosting a student referee using several explicit references that would be unfit for this publication. 

— Mugdown Staff