Whew! Student Who Sneezed In Your Mouth Not Sick, Just Has Allergies
Thank goodness! The student in your biochem lab who just sneezed in close proximity to your open mouth does not have the flu; reports are coming in that your classmate was simply suffering from a bout of springtime allergies.
According to bystanders, Terry Espinoza, the student in the seat next to you, turned to make a remark about how ugly the professor is when they delivered a deafening sneeze directly into the mouth, nose and eye region of your face. Several witnesses claim to have seen spit molecules enter directly into several of those previously mentioned orifices.
“It was crazy, and at first I think everyone was a little grossed out,” classmate Jackson Bragg said. “But then I think we all remembered that Terry came in exclaiming how bad his allergies were, I mean you could see the crust gluing his left eye shut, so in reality I don’t think it was that bad of a thing. It’s not like having allergies is contagious or anything.”
When asked to comment on the incident, health science professor David Macnamara stated that things could have been much worse than getting an allergy sneeze to the mouth.
“In a post-COVID world, one can’t be too cautious about the spread of germs,” Dr. Macnamara wrote in email correspondence. “Which is why we are relieved to find that people are only sneezing allergy-produced mucus into their hands and not those icky flu germs.”
— Middle Class Missionary
Middle Class was always the disappointment of the family. He was born to the family of Swedish death metalheads that founded Hot Topic, but never took an interest in music, the supernatural, or anything alternative. That all changed when one day he picked up a little book written by a fella named Jesus Christ. Soon he would be traveling around the world, spreading the good word at sold out stadiums. Along the way, he picked up more than an acoustic guitar and an affinity for ham-boning. He made a lot of money too! After achieving peak global success, he realized his true purpose in life: to build an ever bigger Protestant church down the street from St. Mary’s.