Best Places On Campus To Find A Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Date
- The Rec Center
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- People here on Valentine’s day are so desperate that they still think getting in shape will help them get dates.
- Your Professor’s Office Hours
- One-on-one time with a smart, successful professional? Sounds like the perfect date.
- Student Government Association Candidates
- All you have to do is say, “I’ll only vote for you if you go on a date with me.”
- Under the Century Tree
- Just wait until someone else is walking underneath it, run up next to them, and y’all will be legally married.
- In Line at SBISA
- Cute girl standing next to you in line? Just say to the person scooping your mashed potatoes, “I’ll have what she’s having.”
- The person writing this article
- My phone number is 248-434-5508.
— BTHO Rabies
You’re fighting for your life, sweating bullets on a flag room couch. You got in a wrestling match with a Kyle Field bat and the bat won. He whooped you faster than a junior-by-hours. He beat the 12th man out of you. You better be glad he let you keep on ever-living… ever-loving… You’re alive, but now you feel it coursing through your veins: pure rage in the form of a viral infection. Sure you could get treatment, but old army’s tougher than that. Reveilles 1 through 8 would be rolling in their graves. There’s only one redass, good bull way to handle this. Say it with me now. BEAT. THE. HELL. OUTTA. RABIES. Whoop!