Letter To The Editor: Wait, They Burn To Build Again?
I went to the Student Bonfire burn on Saturday and tbh I’m a little confused.
First, I got there with my frat just to find out that there’s no alcohol allowed, which totally made the vibe suck.
The whole thing was culty – like, really culty. All these people in uniforms with their weird color-coordinated helmets and crusty Dixie Chicken hats. I even heard one of them say they “can’t wait to die” on that night and to be honest that really freaked some of my boys out. My boy Aiden had to take two fatty rips off his vape just to calm down. We thought we had walked into some sort of now-it’s-time-to-drink-the-Kool-Aid type of ceremony.
Someone else said they were going to throw Grodes into the fire. Whoever Grodes is, I hope they didn’t catch him because that thing was super hot and did not seem like fun to be thrown into.
Then, in the little speech beforehand the guy said something about burning to build again, which makes absolutely no sense. I mean, they build to burn. Everybody knows that. What would even be the point of burning to build again? It’s as if the fire is supposed to symbolize something more than a pile of logs doused in diesel….
It all seems ridiculous, but whatever. It was cool to see the thing burn, I guess. The other stuff kind of freaked me out.
— Batt-atouille
The Battalion has a rat infestation, and one of these filthy rodents found its way onto our staff. We discovered him deep in the sewers under Sbisa after a long shift of hiding under the head chef’s hat. Now, he loves writing for us just as much as he loves pulling hair. When he’s not busy in the dining hall kitchen or writing articles for the other “publication” on campus, he cooks up articles for us. We’re happy to have him on our team, even though he leaves a copious amount of health code violations in his trail.