How To Boost Your Grade Without Extra Credit

With the beginning of the semester upon us, we here at the Mugdown have compiled eight simple tricks to help the slackers, ne’er-do-wells, layabouts, idlers, work-dodgers and malingerers get a step up in the classroom!

1. Make eye contact with your professor. They want it. They need it.
2. Loudly say “hmm” after every point they make. In a classroom full of losers, make sure you make it well known that you are very interested in the professor’s material, and love learning so much to the point of verbal satisfaction!
3. Argue with any student who answers the professor’s question wrong. Your professor will appreciate you putting those idiots in their place. If they don’t already know the material, they shouldn’t even bother coming to class.
4. Write a handwritten letter professing your love (for their class). Your professor won’t be able to stop thinking about you (loving their class)!
5. Ask to take the final exam early. They’ll appreciate your dedication and commitment to the course, and they’ll probably curve you, too!
6. Ask them for their home address to hand-deliver them cookies at 3 a.m. Bonus points if you get welcomed into their home for a quick drink!
7. Suggest a double date with them and their significant other. If they’re single, suggest setting them up with a blind date and bet on whether or not the date will go well. Double points if you’re right!
8. Show up to office hours at 4:55 p.m. They’ll see how dedicated you were to get into their office right before the day ended, your time means so much to them!

— Loco-Motive