A&M Adds Bike Safety As A New Core Curriculum Course

Reports suggest that, as the weather starts to become bearable again, Texas A&M’s most dangerous tradition is on the rise. Bikers everywhere have taken to the streets, sidewalks and grasses of the university.

This year, however, promises to be different. As a result of three major lawsuit settlements, the university has agreed to adopt a “bike safety” requirement to their core curriculum. This course promises to teach students the important life skill of dealing with annoying bikers.

“Bikes don’t just go away after college, you know,” Haver Marsh, potential bike safety instructor, said. “Whether you’re a biker or a pedestrian, these courses will make you much safer in life.”

This requirement can be fulfilled through a variety of courses, including “Bikes can be on the highway, too,” “Pedestrians in a biking world” and “How to tuck and roll when a biker is speeding towards you at mach whoop.”

“There’s so much anti-bike propaganda going around campus,” Andy Stubbs, philosophy sophomore and biker, said. “I hope this course acknowledges the difficulties of being a biker and teaches these pedestrians how to move out of the way faster.”

The university has even considered making a Bike Safety major for students who really care about the biking world. The major promises a path into many lucrative careers with A&M including professor, VEO consultant and bike traffic cop. 

— Mrs. Dabfire