Academic Advisor Fired For Taking “Force Request” Too Literally

The University Police Department received a surprising call on Monday when a student reported that a College of Agriculture and Life Sciences academic advisor had “kicked some guy’s ass” and intimidated him into freeing up a spot in a full HORT 418 (Nut Culture) section.

Zachary Hofstetter, the eyewitness student who placed the 911 call, claims he was walking in front of the Academic Building when he saw the advisor rush out the door wearing a ski mask and pounce on an unsuspecting student. Audio from a cell phone recording of the incident indicates that the advisor could be heard verbally berating the student and forcing him to pull out his computer to access his Aggie Schedule Builder.

“It was honestly kinda cool to watch,” Hofstetter said. “I was worried for his safety and all, but he actually wanted to take a Nut Culture class. That guy deserved to get his ass kicked.”

Tyler Marks, the offending advisor, has had his employment with the college’s advising office terminated. Marks chalked up the situation to a simple misunderstanding.

“Look, I just started this job at the beginning of the semester, and all I saw was that someone put in a force request for HORT 418,” Marks said. “It was pretty easy to find the list of people who had already registered, and when I saw one of those losers out of my office window, I did what I had to do.”

Some students have expressed outrage at a lack of legal action taken by the University Police Department. The Department declined to comment, but reports state they plan to send Marks to the police academy in the hopes that his combat skills and overreactive tendencies would be an asset to the force.

— MSGlee