Student’s “Perfect” Ring Day Pics Land Hand Modeling Gig
This past week, thousands of students who received their Aggie gold proudly posed with their newly adorned — and slightly heavier — hands, but lucky senior Vivian West was handed more than just her new favorite accessory: a hand modeling contract.
“I knew Ring Day was a big day for me as an Aggie,” West said. “But I had a feeling that other opportunities just like this would hand themselves over when I hired a professional photographer to showcase my God-given talent. When I heard there would be modeling scouts walking around the Association of Former Students building, I booked a spray tan appointment immediately and started moisturizing twice a day.”
Modeling scout Trish Evans was rumored to be coming to Texas A&M for Ring Day to find “quality hands with quality degrees” to model for big name companies such as Rolex, Apple and Pandora.
“I always find the best hand models on Ring Day,” Evans said. “There’s no other place that showcases such refined, educated hands quite like Texas A&M! Every year it’s just like Christmas morning when my For You Page is flooded with flawless fingers, expensive acrylics and perfect palms just begging to be on a Coca-Cola billboard!”
The modeling contract marks a new beginning for West, with the possibility of modeling for Cartier and Tiffany & Co. looming on the horizon.
— Lavender Hazed
Yes, Lavender Hazed is a Swiftie, but Don’t You start thinking those stereotypes Mean you know everything about her Sad Beautiful Tragic story. She bleeds Maroon which is why she joined the Corps of Cadets. But The Very First Night, Lavender Hazed learned the Corps was no Wonderland when The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived in Briggs Hall tried to haze her with a rubber snake attached to an Invisible String. Fortunately, she was able to Jump Then Fall out her window to the Holy Ground of the Quad and run to her Getaway Car. Lavender Hazed knew All Too Well (10 Minute Version) that Everything Has Changed. Even after reporting The Man, she could not Shake It Off that she was The Lucky One that was Safe & Sound. Long Story Short, now she spends her Daylight writing satire to expose hazing all across campus which to her is Better than Revenge. Mirrorball.