Nine Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Study Today

1. It’s too late: There’s no way to turn this semester around with this test, you’re already done for. Instead of trying to save this sinking ship, you should plan your academic comeback by spending hours on Aggie Schedule Builder.
2. It’s too close to Halloween: If you study now, spirits will come and haunt you during your exam. It’s probably best to save all your studying until after the 31st. 
3. Crumbl Cookies’ menu isn’t that good this week: You can’t properly study without a sweet treat, but with a less than ideal Crumbl menu, you would have to go somewhere like Insomnia Cookies, and I think we both know you can’t afford that. 
4. There’s always later: Unless your test is today, you can always push off your studying for one more day. Even if your test is today, you can push it off for another hour. Research shows that studying closer to the test helps with retention, so save all your studying for when the professor starts handing out the exam. 
5. You have other things to do: Remember that other less important and not at all time-sensitive thing you have to do? You should probably do that task now so you can spend even more time studying later. 
6. The Yellowstone volcano could explode: Yellowstone, a supervolcano that would wipe out most of the United States in an eruption, is set to go off any day now. Imagine how foolish you would look if Yellowstone exploded tomorrow and you didn’t even take your test.
7. Your favorite Evans spot is already taken: With so many people studying for this same test, Evans is too full and you won’t be able to sit in that spot you like. Studying in a different place is probably even worse than not studying. 
8. One bad exam grade probably won’t hurt your GPA: This is one exam for one semester for one class. Would you rather have a slightly higher GPA or go to Northgate and get wasted?
9. You need to take a 15 minute nap first: If you really want to study right you can’t be tired. Take a 15 minute nap and then you can get to work. Surely it wont turn into an hour in bed scrolling through Reels, right? 

— Mrs. Dabfire