New Student Organization ‘Aggies Against Woke’ Receives Unprecedented Number of Applications

Texas A&M is home to over 1,300 recognized student organizations, a number which grows at the beginning of each semester; among the dozens of new organizations unveiled this fall was Aggies Against Woke, or AAW. 

AAW’s purpose is reflected in its mission statement: “To spread awareness of woke, fight back against the wokeness epidemic and provide a safe space for students who have been a victim of woke.” 

Some long-term goals of AAW include rallies for cis white minority liberation, fundraising for local People Without Color communities, Straight Pride Month, and Men’s Suffrage.  During bannering week, prospective AAW members were hooked after overhearing current members explaining how men are suffering and need their own suffrage movement.  

“I was genuinely surprised by the number of applications we received,” AAW vice president and agribusiness senior Braydin Urie said. “We received nearly 6,200 applications. I cannot explain how grateful I am to meet people who, like me, have been victims of woke. AAW is meant to finally provide a safe space for people who look like me — straight, cis white males, and I am thrilled to say that we are achieving this goal.”

“Everybody is a victim these days, but nobody knows what it’s like to really struggle,” Urie said. “My girlfriend broke up with me during Rush Week, something none of these woke liberal hippies will ever understand.”

 

— Rudder Ducky