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Ranking the FLOs Part 2: The Grand Slam

By Boot Macer , in Campus Life Student Issues , at September 3, 2024 Tags: , ,

  1. FLEX

 Do not ask what happened to the 6th zone.

  1. MSC ALOT

We challenged this organization last year to act on the evil in their hearts, and boy did they! Never say they back down from a challenge.

  1. FLASH

Every night all the staff for this FLO gather together in the bowels of Northgate, form a circle, and in the darkness they speak for hours about how popular and cool they are. It’s a ritual that borders on religion, leaving many who witness it from the outside dazed and confused, but it does explain where their inflated egos come from.

  1. FORME

Proudly still standing as proof that no number of hazing charges can destroy this FLO, though  who knows what they’re doing anymore. Do they know either?

  1. FLiC

The very first freshmen bonding event this FLO puts on is to head to Breakaway and angrily glare at everyone walking away from Reed Arena.

  1. Fish Aides

Every FLO may have a controversy, but only one was found guilty of election interference and collusion. Thank you Fish Aides for molding the new politicians of America.

  1. FEST

Somehow not even the coolest engineering FLO. 

  1. FREE

The coolest engineering FLO. Not that it matters. 

  1. FAST

Joining another big organization that discriminates based on race is redundant if you’re already at this university.

  1. FLIP

Future members of Ol’ Ags and The Republican Party, only notable for throwing Halloween parties that get busted immediately by cops.

  1. FEAST

A fantastic choice for anyone hoping to learn more about Mckayleigh and Travis, who were prom king and queen junior year of high school and can’t seem to move on. Look at them go, showing you their old pictures again and everything! Weren’t they just so cute? 

  1. PREP

PREP are to be made fun of for not starting with an “F.” Every place has a group of NPCs.

  1. FRESH

If using a FLO as a dating app is an art, call them your weird cousin with the notebook the way they do it a lot without much skill.

  1. FLAKE

I hope all 6 freshmen in this FLO thoroughly enjoyed feeling loved and accepted.

(FLiC’s sworn enemy)

  1. FLARE

This one’s for the future law school dropouts of America.

  1. ASSIST

The feat of a FLO actually getting caught and found guilty of supplying alcohol to freshmen is so impressive it slingshotted them to the top 10.

  1. MSC FLI

Try to hold a conversation with anyone in this FLO and they’ll just stare at you like you killed their childhood pet in front of them. 

  1. Fish Co.

A retention rate so bad it’s notable even for a FLO. 

  1. AFC

This FLO is not nearly interesting enough to justify having a name that doesn’t start with an “F.”

  1. FRWD

Despite being a business FLO, we’re allowing this one into the top 5 because we’re wondering what will happen if we inflate their finance egos to their maximum.

  1. FLOC

Not advertised, but we hear it offers a great retreat to Florida. 

  1. MSC FISH

Hey, did you know this FLO has a room in the MSC? Did you know? Did you know they have a room? It’s right in the MSC. Did you know?

  1. FLED

So few education majors at Texas A&M even this FLO doesn’t have them. 

1.FALL

The Mugdown officially stands together with women.

 

— Boot Macer