Ranking the FLOs Part 2: The Grand Slam
- FLEX
Do not ask what happened to the 6th zone.
- MSC ALOT
We challenged this organization last year to act on the evil in their hearts, and boy did they! Never say they back down from a challenge.
- FLASH
Every night all the staff for this FLO gather together in the bowels of Northgate, form a circle, and in the darkness they speak for hours about how popular and cool they are. It’s a ritual that borders on religion, leaving many who witness it from the outside dazed and confused, but it does explain where their inflated egos come from.
- FORME
Proudly still standing as proof that no number of hazing charges can destroy this FLO, though who knows what they’re doing anymore. Do they know either?
- FLiC
The very first freshmen bonding event this FLO puts on is to head to Breakaway and angrily glare at everyone walking away from Reed Arena.
- Fish Aides
Every FLO may have a controversy, but only one was found guilty of election interference and collusion. Thank you Fish Aides for molding the new politicians of America.
- FEST
Somehow not even the coolest engineering FLO.
- FREE
The coolest engineering FLO. Not that it matters.
- FAST
Joining another big organization that discriminates based on race is redundant if you’re already at this university.
- FLIP
Future members of Ol’ Ags and The Republican Party, only notable for throwing Halloween parties that get busted immediately by cops.
- FEAST
A fantastic choice for anyone hoping to learn more about Mckayleigh and Travis, who were prom king and queen junior year of high school and can’t seem to move on. Look at them go, showing you their old pictures again and everything! Weren’t they just so cute?
- PREP
PREP are to be made fun of for not starting with an “F.” Every place has a group of NPCs.
- FRESH
If using a FLO as a dating app is an art, call them your weird cousin with the notebook the way they do it a lot without much skill.
- FLAKE
I hope all 6 freshmen in this FLO thoroughly enjoyed feeling loved and accepted.
(FLiC’s sworn enemy)
- FLARE
This one’s for the future law school dropouts of America.
- ASSIST
The feat of a FLO actually getting caught and found guilty of supplying alcohol to freshmen is so impressive it slingshotted them to the top 10.
- MSC FLI
Try to hold a conversation with anyone in this FLO and they’ll just stare at you like you killed their childhood pet in front of them.
- Fish Co.
A retention rate so bad it’s notable even for a FLO.
- AFC
This FLO is not nearly interesting enough to justify having a name that doesn’t start with an “F.”
- FRWD
Despite being a business FLO, we’re allowing this one into the top 5 because we’re wondering what will happen if we inflate their finance egos to their maximum.
- FLOC
Not advertised, but we hear it offers a great retreat to Florida.
- MSC FISH
Hey, did you know this FLO has a room in the MSC? Did you know? Did you know they have a room? It’s right in the MSC. Did you know?
- FLED
So few education majors at Texas A&M even this FLO doesn’t have them.
1.FALL
The Mugdown officially stands together with women.
— Boot Macer
For any cadets that may be reading this, you surely are already wary of typical boot chasers that prey on you for first deck tickets. Boot Macer, however, is a much more significant threat. She hides in the bushes, waiting for a zip lost in thought before she strikes, blinding them with her pepper spray and taking their boots. Nobody knows what she looks like since she strikes so fast, nor why she feels it’s necessary to rebel against the Corps in this way. Boot Macer’s hobby has been great for us, however, as we’ve enjoyed having access to a closet full of boots of many different sizes. We try to not ask too many questions, lest we become Boot Macer’s next target.