Texas A&M Introduces Algorithmic Fall Classes
Texas A&M is offering a groundbreaking new way for its students to attend class by capitalizing on the success of content feeds like TikTok’s For You page. Starting this fall, students can elect for an “algorithmic schedule”, which is being offered for most 100-level department courses and all university-required ones.
Students will be able to learn at their preferred pace, with clips ranging from vine-like six second clips to investigative two-minute monologues. Likes and favorites will signal the system to provide similar content, while swipe-aways and selections of “not interested” will minimize the frequency of that subject to just enough to pass. Content from classes a student isn’t currently enrolled in will also occasionally appear in their feeds, showcasing samples of other academic opportunities which are available to them.
“Swiping allows every student to move on to the next subject whenever they feel their attention lagging,” says University Provost Alan Sams. “And the occasional ad between clips allows us to levy an entirely new stream of revenue.”
Concerns from professors were quickly quelled when word came that they’d each take home a share of A&M’s “Creators Fund”, as well as gain the ability to offer premium subscriptions and earn tips during livestreams.
“I was initially skeptical of this whole class feed thing, but once I started getting little animated cowboy hats and realized they translated to actual money, I couldn’t be happier,” sociology professor Eileen Harrel said.
“Academics don’t make nearly as much money as you’d think,” Harrel said. “So if it means paying off these student loans before I’m 50, I’ll happily teach my Intro to Race and Ethnicity course while streaming Powerwashing Simulator.”
—Graddlesnake
Before Zachry’s glow up. Before we joined the SEC. Even before Reveille became Queen of Aggieland, there was a time at Texas A&M few remember. Those who do will only speak of it in the faintest whisper. College Station was still a lawless land. It was a time of heroes and villains, and no legend was more notorious than that of the Graddlesnake. He’s said to have forged his Aggie Ring from scratch and has the quickest Ring Dunk this side of the Mississippi. Some believe he actually planted the Century Tree. Even we thought he was just a myth until he walked into our headquarters with an application.