Study Shows: Yes, Everyone Had a More Productive Summer Than You

A new study finds that yes, everyone did in fact have a more productive summer than you. Prior to  the upcoming fall semester, Texas A&M surveyed the student body to determine how they spent their time off. As expected, the survey found that almost every student spent this summer making career-defining moves. 

Jess Hartwell, a pre-med psychology student, spent the summer diagnosing all her friends with major psychological disorders. 

“My degree is really coming in handy,” Hartwell said. “I think all these premature diagnoses will look really good on my med school application.” Pre-law student William Cantu had a very different yet equally successful break. Cantu spent his entire summer watching the hit TV show “Suits.” 

“It’s basically the same as working for a law firm but without all the annoying paperwork,” Cantu said. “I put Harvey Specter as my recommendation, and now I’m almost guaranteed acceptance to Harvard.”  

 I, a sophomore business major, also had a very productive summer. I started working as a sales associate for a company that makes over $2 billion each year and sells a product that everyone needs. Cutco knives are the best on the market and come with a lifetime warranty. For those of you just moving into a new apartment, a good knife is a necessity for cooking and Cutco is the best there is. If you want to be like me and get an amazing resume booster this year, click the link below to start your selling journey.

https://www.investor.gov/protect-your-investments/fraud/types-fraud/pyramid-schemes 

 

— Mrs. Dabfire