Top 10 non threatening ways to approach a girl on campus

Do you struggle when approaching those fine Texas Aggie women on campus? Well struggle no more! We here at The Mugdown have devised ten simple, surefire ways to bag that Ag. 

 

1. Tiptoe behind her like those old cartoon characters with a huge money bag and throw money at her.
2. Put yourself on a leash so she knows she’s in control.
3. “I do not have the ick I swear!!!”
4. Act like a squirrel and sort of leap behind her or climb up the nearest tree.
5. Be gay, or at least look like it.
6. Be a breakaway volunteer.
7. Ask her if she’s registered to vote.
8. With palms facing her, say “I am going to approach you slowly, please remain calm.”
9. Ask her if she wants to double it and give it to the next person.
10. Just lean casually on one of the blue light stations. 

 

— Lavender Hazed