Ranking Christian Orgs From Least to Most Holy
- SGA as a whole
Though it is predominantly Christians, there are still those pesky dissenters that weasel their way into government positions. How dare they!
- Hurricane Harry’s Groupies
Hurricane Harry’s is a nice safe place where Christians can dance and let loose without the condemnation that comes with going to Northgate. However, there is still alcohol available, so it falls low on this list.
- Quadbucks Frequenters
A breeding ground for FliC and other Christians, Quadbucks holds potential, though is riddled with the evilness of the Starbucks brand! Far too liberal!
- Kappa Alpha Theta
They’re still a sorority and there’s nothing pure about that.
- Fish Aides
Just as Jesus is the only way to heaven, so also is Fish Aides the straight and narrow road to SGA!
- Aggie Park Mormons
They aren’t Christian but gosh are they friendly! And awesome cyclists!
- Maroon Coats
We all know that to be a Maroon Coat you must be in Chi Omega or Aggie Men’s Club, but just as important is being a Christian! Like Joseph’s coat of many colors, so also do only the most pious receive that coveted coat.
- MSC Abbott
This is where the alphas of the Christian bubble separate themselves from the rest of the pack.
- Yell Leaders
Though not available to the public, the fine, fine print on the official Yell Leader contract necessitates that to wear the white Mr. Clean garb, you must be a born-again believer. They are as pure as they come!
— Mugdown Staff
