A Fed-Up Reject’s Guide to Making a Student Organization

Were you recently denied a staff position for your FLO? Are you tired of networking with men’s and women’s orgs for weeks just to get rejected? Do you need something other than your high school job on your resume? If the answer to any of those questions was “Yes”, we have the solution for YOU! Instead of joining an organization, just make your own!

Step 1: Make a Sick Acronym.

• This is by far the most important part of the entire process as a catchy acronym can make or break an organization. We recommend choosing your organization’s name first and then working backward to decide what the organization actually does. Note that it is required to have any FLOs begin with the letter F — don’t mess this step up.

Step 2: Find a Chill Advisor.

• Since your organization will obviously be hosting parties with underage drinking, (why would you be starting one if it didn’t?), it’s essential to find an advisor who will let things slide and sign off on all of your SOFC reimbursements. This is extra crucial if you want to haze new members in your organization since you don’t want to waste valuable time at student conduct hearings.

Step 3: What Kind of Vibe Do You Want for Your Org?

• Do you want your organization to be gate-keepy and hard to get into without an extensive recruitment process, or open to anyone, like The Big Event? Do you want to act like you have a higher purpose than just partying by calling yourself a “service-social” org (CONNECT, Fish Camp, any FLO, etc)? These are all things you need to consider, although either way, it’s key to market your organization as a low-time commitment, even if that’s a lie.

Step 4: Which Buzz Words Do You Want Associated with Your Organization?

• Leadership? Character? Integrity? It doesn’t matter which ones you choose as they won’t be much more than words on the logo or in the mission statement, but you need to have at least a few. It’s good to have leadership in there somewhere. Who doesn’t want to be a leader?

Step 5: Recruitment.

• It’s important to have a recruitment process that, at least to the public, appears to be approachable and equitable. You need high application numbers to build prestige, and people won’t apply if they think the process is unfair. It is of course rigged so that your friends and connections get in, but the public doesn’t need to know that. At this point, it’s also essential to run social media checks on all applicants to ensure that they meet the threshold for followers and engagement to maximize publicity for your organization.
• After decisions have been made, you then need to decide how you’ll communicate acceptance or rejection. Email is of course the easiest option, but in-person letters are not a bad option if you’d like to truly experience the feeling of being a rejector for once, and not a rejectee.

Step 6: What will your organization do?

• This is the least important part of the process and if you’ve done a good job with the other five steps, it doesn’t really matter.

— Batt for Both Teams