Professor Who Canceled Class for Eclipse Really Just Needed a Break

Prior to Monday’s total solar eclipse, many Texas A&M professors canceled lectures scheduled for that day under the pretense of allowing students to witness the historical event. Unbeknownst to his students, one particular professor could be found that day taking his midday nap and avoiding having any human interaction whatsoever.

“It felt nice to have just one day without my students asking me idiotic questions in lecture,” Dr. Albert Stevenson, a professor in the English Literature department, said. “To be honest, I couldn’t care less if they watched the eclipse or not. Lord knows I didn’t.”

While the campus atmosphere was quieter without the tens of students who left town to look up at the sky, several academic overachievers could still be found roaming the halls of Evans Library. Among them was Mary Grace Kauffman, a frequent visitor of Dr. Stevenson’s office hours and, coincidentally, his least favorite student.

“I was so excited for my weekly hangout with Dr. S, but when I got to his office, all the lights were off and he had put up one of those Do Not Disturb signs from a hotel on his door,” Kaufmann said. “I know there’s some big eclipse today, but he wouldn’t lie to us and cancel his office hours just to avoid me… right?”

Kauffman’s concern led her to email Dr. Stevenson about his unexpected absence, resulting in an automated response from the sleepy scholar stating that he was “out stargazing” and would not be answering questions from students. At the time of publication, Dr. Stevenson can be found searching the internet for other major events to exploit for a little more free time.

— MSGlee