Fish Camp Counselor Hopes to Get Over Camp Crush With New, Hotter Camp Crush

Alice White, a second-year Fish Camp counselor, is hoping to get over her first-year camp crush with a new camp crush that is even hotter than the first. With Fish Camp Rev Night happening just a few days ago, hundreds of second-year counselors similar to White will be on the prowl for a fellow counselor to fixate on for the summer.

According to White, her previous camp crush did not pan out how she wanted it to.

“I was playing the long game,” White said. “We would start out as the only first-year partnership, then stay at one of our apartments for Four Days Before, and finally leave camp secretly dating until policy is over.” 

If that plan failed, White said she “would probably just kiss him at APP and never talk to him again.” Regarding her plan for this summer, White said she might alter it depending on who her new crush is. 

“It’ll be harder if he’s also a second-year, so I might focus my efforts on the first-years,” White said. “I’m not opposed to dating younger guys.”

Gwen Randall, a third-year counselor, is an expert on camp crushes and has worked out a foolproof strategy for getting with them.

 “The mistake I see a lot of people make is that they pick a guy that every girl in camp has a crush on. If you’re not the prettiest girl in camp, he’s not going to look at you that way,” Randall said. “I always suggest picking the third most attractive guy in camp if you want the best odds.”

Randall also emphasized the importance of counselors knowing their camp crush’s sexuality before they commit.

“It’s easy to look at the nose-ring and chalk it up to him being a Fish Camp counselor, but if his favorite artist is Lana Del Rey, you should start looking somewhere else,” Randall said.

When asked what she would do if she’s not interested in any of the counselors, White said, “I would probably just make up an excuse to be put back in the pickup pool.”

— 12th Baby