Fish Camp Ditches Buses for Bar Bikes Due to Budget Cuts

This Tuesday, Fish Camp counselors were shocked to find out that send-off will be looking very different this year due to budget cuts: freshmen will be pedaling fully stocked bar bikes to Lakeview instead of riding in buses.

D-Staff made this decision due to the financial trouble Fish Camp has faced in recent years. This change alone will save $300,000. The new send-off will now entail counselors and their discussion groups each manning a bar bike together. Due to the bikes only being able to manage 30 miles a day at full speed, groups will set off for camp three days before their camp date.

To ensure this new send-off is enjoyable, a group of Fish Camp chairs tested this journey over winter break. When asked about their experience, one chair said it was “the greatest six days of my life” while another said, “I remember nothing.” An anonymous source shared that the bar bike was returned missing a tire and without any of the alcohol.

Counselors will use this extra travel time to expand upon classic Fish Camp traditions. For instance, speed dating will be replaced with speed marriages due to the journey’s length.

When asked about the legality of putting 18-year-old college freshmen on a fully stocked bar bike for three days to get to camp, D-Staff said “Fish camp has a strict no underage drinking policy that the counselors will surely enforce as they always have.”

— Mugdown Staff