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Students Bannering Now Allowed to Touch and Grab You

By Middle Class Missionairy , in Campus Life Elections , at February 28, 2024 Tags: , , ,

Following a regulations meeting Monday morning, new procedures allow students holding banners for their organizations to touch and grab you to get your attention.

The new rules for bannering organizations now authorize “touching, feeling, grabbing, and light caressing when bannering for student organizations for the express purpose of spreading the organizational message.”

Patrick Rodriguez, a frequent banner representative for several causes and organizations, has extensive first-hand knowledge of the extreme difficulty that comes with bannering.

“People have their headphones in, and others just completely ignore us altogether,” Rodriguez said. “It is just disrespectful. We needed something to level the playing field, and this is it.”

Bannering students will be required to take a 30-minute seminar on polite touching, which will include information on where the most attention-grabbing spots are, as well as tips to quickly defuse suddenly tense situations.

Student representatives have now begun to prioritize legislation allowing those bannering to pull out wired headphones and take phones out of backpacks.

— Middle Class Missionary