Student Who Claims to be a Sophomore by Hours Violently Humbled
Trey Howler, a true freshman straight out of high school but already having 30 credit hours, was humbled yesterday in POLS 206 when an upperclassman took it upon herself to remind Trey where he is on the A&M food chain.
Howler, while introducing himself to the class before a presentation, mentioned that although he just moved to Aggieland, he is actually a “sophomore by hours” and an experienced college man.
Lauren Lason, an upperclassman observing this unfolding atrocity from the back row, charged to the podium to tackle Howler as the rest of the class cheered.
“The boy needed to be humbled,” Lason said, triumphantly standing over Howler. “He can’t go about his life thinking that he’s a sophomore when he is fresh meat.”
Howler is recovering well, though he did check “college sophomore” on the emergency room intake form.
— Bizzle Blazer
Known as the scourge of pedestrians, Bizzle Blazer is notorious for his disregard of campus traffic rules and stop signs as he flies down the campus streets on his trusty moped. Bizzle Blazer owns this campus, a fact he makes sure to let you know each time he claims another sidewalk or bike rack as his personal parking spot. While it may be hard to appreciate him as he nearly runs you over on the sidewalk, Bizzle Blazer is always happy to provide a ride to any Aggie in a rush. Just make sure to hold on tight because Bizzle Blazer exclusively travels at his moped’s maximum speed of 35 miles per hour.