Guy at Rec on Valentine’s Day Vows Revenge

Caleb Hart, a communications major with no Valentine’s Day plans, made the regrettable decision to spend his evening working out at the student rec center instead of madly in love. For Hart, it was the first time in a while that he didn’t have obligations on Valentine’s Day, a result of his messy breakup with his girlfriend, Sami Tobin, a few months prior.

“Over the past four years, I’d gotten so used to celebrating Valentine’s Day with Sami that I didn’t know what to do with myself when the 14th came around,” Hart said. “I had to escape all the Instagram posts of happy couples, so I retreated to the rec.”

While normally one of Hart’s favorite places to be on campus, the eerie emptiness during the rec’s prime hours and the scent of unrequited love in the air unnerved Hart.

“Last night’s vibe at the rec was really weird,” Hart said. “It was a bunch of presumably single guys, looking sad that they weren’t overpaying for flowers and a dinner for two at Napa Flats.”

Hart’s experience at the rec last night, while depressing, provided the motivation he needed to re-enter the dating scene.

“I can never let myself be in that environment on Valentine’s Day ever again,” Hart said. “I’ll get on Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, heck, maybe even ChristianMingle. Anything to lock in plans for next Valentine’s Day.”

Hart plans to spend the rest of his year in the organic food aisle at HEB or the rec, using his free time now to invest in his physical looks and fitness to ensure he’ll never be free on Valentine’s Day again.

— Batt for Both Teams