Thursday, November 21, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Roommate’s Emotional Support Animal is Actually Just a Pet

By Yellicopter Mom , in Campus Life , at February 12, 2024 Tags: , , , ,

Alice Pearson, a sophomore engineering student, recently found out a startling truth: her roommate’s self-proclaimed emotional support animal is actually just living with them for free rent and belly rubs.

Pearson had reluctantly agreed to live with the unwanted pug, persuaded only by her roommate’s insistence that the mischievous furball was necessary for psychological support.

However, when Pearson overheard her roommate brag to a friend about exploiting loopholes on pet restrictions, she discovered that Dudley the pug was nothing more than a four-legged freeloader.

“I had my suspicions about Dudley. He sheds on everything, except light on emotionally heavy experiences,” Pearson said.

In this dog-eat-dog world, Dudley’s barely functional curly tail is an emblem of his inability to provide support like a real emotional support animal would. Behind Dudley’s ditsy eyes and vicious drool is a simple reminder to try therapy instead, or perhaps a new roommate.

— Yellicopter Mom