Campus Scenes: Aggie Taking Martial Arts Class Wants to Show You Something Real Quick
The following excerpt was overheard outside of the Physical Education Activity Building (PEAP):
“Yeah, it’ll be quick, just stand up over here. No, not like that, put your feet like this. Yeah, that’s good. Now hit me, just try to hit me.
Ow! Not actually, geez. No, no, do it again, I just wasn’t ready. Here, hit me.
See what I did there?
Okay, now pretend you have a gun. No, in your other hand. Yeah, yeah, now like hold it at me.
Watch… [lots of uncomfortable huffing noises as they kind of grab the finger gun and do floppy karate chops to the gut].
What did you think? Yeah, you can go sit back down now. What did you think?
Yeah, and that part in the middle is where I’m going to incorporate like a backflip roundhouse kick before dealing the finishing blow!
What? Of course, I can do a backflip! Show you? Uh… not right now, dude. I’m not wearing the right shoes, and the ground here isn’t level at all, and… uh…
Oh, wait, I almost forgot! Stand up real quick, I need to show you something…”
— Batt-atouille
The Battalion has a rat infestation, and one of these filthy rodents found its way onto our staff. We discovered him deep in the sewers under Sbisa after a long shift of hiding under the head chef’s hat. Now, he loves writing for us just as much as he loves pulling hair. When he’s not busy in the dining hall kitchen or writing articles for the other “publication” on campus, he cooks up articles for us. We’re happy to have him on our team, even though he leaves a copious amount of health code violations in his trail.