Big Event Staff Assistant Surprised They Actually Have to Serve the Community

Meg Walker, a sophomore marketing major, is one of the several hundred grunts within The Big Event student organization, or staff assistants as they’re formally called, that has recently been surprised by the inhumane amount of assistance they are expected to provide.

“I thought all I had to do was show up on the day of The Big Event to get a sweet green polo and something easy to add to my resume,” Walker said. “Now people are telling me I have to go on job checks? And banner? I did not sign up for this.”

Job checks for potential service sites are especially taxing due to the quantity each staff assistant pair is required to complete.

“I’ve gone on eight job checks this week alone,” Walker said. “If I have to deal with another rich parasite trying to get their guest house painted for free or another 45-minute drive to some house in a rural area, I might just quit.”

While job checks are time-consuming, the real waste of time is the weekly meetings that all members of The Big Event must attend, Walker said.

“Everything communicated at that meeting could easily be compressed into an email to save us all 30 minutes and a trip to main campus,” Walker said. “I really don’t need to see the execs practice their public speaking skills by stretching a few bullet points out into an entire meeting.”

Nothing caught Walker more off guard than when they found out they would need to help out with things on the day of The Big Event.

“You’re telling me that I’ll have to actually hand out tools on the day of the event? And get there at 5 am?” Walker said. “I’m out, this is way too much work.”

— Mugdown Staff